For those who don’t know my backstory, I’ve been single (again) for about eight years and I have a nine year old daughter. As a single woman, I made a list of rules that I would follow. The first and most important was that no man would ever come to my house for a “sleep over”. I’ve had no interest in pursuing a serious relationship. Being married to someone for half my life was exhausting and I’ve been more focused on finding myself again than becoming half of another whole. For that reason, I vowed never to parade horny men in to my daughters home, (her comfort zone), when I knew that they wouldn’t be staying.
There is one man in my life. I’ve written about him before. We’ve known each other in some capacity for over ten years and our bond grew exponentially when I returned to the single world. I confess that there was always an attraction between us but it was one that we didn’t act upon until we were both unattached.
When we did, however, there was a spark that we chose to continue to ignite on occasion for the past few years. We live a good distance from each other and though we talk to each other almost daily, we only see each other a handful of times a year. Usually, I take the two plus hour drive to see him for a day or two so that I can keep distance between him and my child. When he comes to my neck of the woods, (I literally live in the woods!) he spends the night in a hotel and I pay him a visit.
He surprised me a few weeks ago when he told me that he’d be passing through town on a trip to visit family and asked if he could come a day early and spend the night at my house. Until now, we had an unspoken agreement about my number one rule. I wasn’t sure what changed. I pondered and considered his request for a long time. Then, I told myself that after eight years, he was the only stable man in my life and that, if anyone, deserved to be welcome in my home, it was him so I said yes.
He arrived in the early evening just after my daughter and I had eaten dinner. I knew he was probably hungry after the drive so I served him my left overs. I paid close attention to my daughters demeanor and was surprised to find that she had no trouble engaging with him. She, too, has known him as her mothers’ friend and she has met him in public settings. I watched as they discussed her art work and her love of skating and I was amazed at how comfortable she was with him.
He and I sat close on the couch and watched a movie while she played and she didn’t seem to have a care in the world about her mother showing affection to this strange man.
After I put her to bed, he asked if he could sleep with me or if I’d prefer for him to stay on the couch. That was when I remembered a very important detail and laughed uncontrollably. He questioned my outburst but I told him to come to bed and he would understand.
We went to my room and he sat on my bed. In that moment, he knew exactly why I was laughing. You see, my bed was more than two decades old and had the loudest springs in the known universe! Just sitting on it made a terrible clamor! How could we possibly make love on it without waking every living thing in the forest, including my daughter? To make matters worse, he’s a very big boy who most surely would put those springs to the test!
He elected to lock my bedroom door and turn on my television. He turned the volume up as high as he could hoping to drown out the sound of my moaning bed and sat back down. The bed welcomed him with an ominous croak!
It had been a long time since we’d been together and we weren’t going to let my tattle tale bed stop us from truly enjoying each others’ company. AND we did enjoy each others’ company.
He left early in the morning while my daughter was still sleeping so she had no idea of our sleeping arrangements the night before or, even, that he’d spent the night at all.
This experience taught me that, perhaps, I shouldn’t have ever held him accountable to my steadfast rule. He wasn’t a one night stand. He was someone that she knew and felt comfortable around. Though we have no intentions of taking this relationship of ours to a more formal level, we do love each other and we are best friends. Why wouldn’t I let my best friend and my child get to know each other better?
He told me that he really enjoyed staying with me and he’d like to do it again, soon. So, I’ve decided to keep my door open to him. He won’t need to make a hotel reservation the next time he’s in town.
Oh! And finally, after all these years, I’ve bought a new bed. It has no springs and I made sure that I bounced on it before making the purchase! If I’m going to wake the forest with moans, I’d rather they come from me than from my furniture!
Tomi's Voice 