Let’s face it, in today’s social media world, we hear a lot about women who crave constant attention and validation from the opposite sex. They’re girls who post multiple selfies each day. They’re the ones who have discovered every filter on every app and can photoshop like pros. Most of us understand that, unless these girls are using their looks to earn an income, what they’re really craving is validation. They long for attention because they’re insecure. They know that they don’t look like those thirst trap photos that they share and they don’t care. For whatever reason, they have a need to hear that they’re beautiful. They need to feel wanted. At times they fail in real life relationships because the adoration of one person isn’t enough so they continue to seek it from strangers causing their partners to dump them. In many cases, these women suffer from what’s called Histrionic Personality Disorder, a disorder which is characterized by a pathological need for attention and low self-esteem.
We see so many of these women on social media that we’ve practically normalized their behavior but do we ever really think about attention-seeking males? We’ve been taught to believe that women care more about their appearance than men do. We are conditioned to see men as having an unfair advantage because they can “let themselves go” and still be accepted in society. Sure, we roll our eyes at the guys that flex their pecks and practice their boyish grin but in many cases we just assume that their posturing to score. They just want sex, right? No, not always. Men can, just as often, suffer from a pathological need to seek and receive attention. They just don’t always go about it the same way that women do.
Men who are addicted to attention are very similar to narcissists in behavior but have differing motives. A narcissist feels superior to others and wants them to know just how superior they are. A pathological attention seeker is battling feelings of inferiority and hopes that the opinions of others will somehow fill that void.
Signs that your man may be an attention seeker
He can’t go to the gym without posting a gym selfie so the world can tell him how good he looks or how dedicated he is to his work out. He can’t go out for a night of fun without posting pictures of himself with every girl who will stand still long enough to pose for him. He wants all of his boys online to tell him how jealous they are of his player status.
No matter the subject all of your conversations end up being about him. He often says things like, “I don’t want to make this about me but, I can relate to your situation,” and then proceeds to tell you all about the time the same thing happened to him and how he handled it. Next thing you know, he’s moved on to another topic and has completely forgotten that the conversation was about you.
He fishes for compliments by putting himself down or asking for opinions on photos that he’s posted or changes that he’s made to his appearance. He also likes to mention compliments that other people have given him. He acts surprised and asks, “Is it true that I have really nice eyes? I never thought about it until (insert name here) mentioned it today.”
He posts memes of himself using his own photos and posts about hot button topics intentionally to shock or trigger others.
He is obsessed with acquiring social media followers and knows when he’s unfollowed and by whom.
He flirts and chats up every woman he meets. While it’s very possible that an attention seeker will be physically faithful to a partner, they are by definition, emotional cheaters because one woman’s attention will never be enough of a fix for them.
He focuses relentlessly on personal appearance. He is obsessed with own appearance but also comments on the appearance of other men and women.
He is emotional and moody. He suffers from frequent and sudden mood swings as a result of his underlying mental health issues.
If you get tired of stroking his ego, he will pick a fight or lose interest in you.
Why you should steer clear of an attention seeker
Attention seekers may date simply to see who they can get. Their needs are met from knowing that a woman wants them. They don’t need the actual relationship because they already know that they can have you. Now, it’s time to see who else they can have and they are keeping score.
No matter how great a partner you are, your partner will ALWAYS need attention from other women. You will never fill that void.
Their need for attention will always be more important than your feelings.
Their behavior is a sign of a deeper emotional problem and they live in denial. They will not readily admit how badly they need attention and may be hiding other emotional trauma or disorders including childhood abuse, depression, bipolar disorder, drug and alcohol abuse, and frequent thoughts of suicide. If you love them, you will confront them and recommend that they speak to a professional but don’t expect this to lead to your happily ever after. This type of disorder can take years to treat and the person at the healthy end of the journey will have to learn to love himself before he can love anyone else.