Want better orgasms?

Work on your pelvic floor

The pelvic floor is comprised of a group of muscles located between the tail bone and pelvic bone.  These muscles support the bowel, bladder, uterus, and vagina. Muscular bands called sphincters encircle the urethra,  vagina, and anus as they pass through the pelvic floor. The pelvic floor muscles work in conjunction with deep back muscles and the diaphragm to support the spine. They also control the pressure inside the abdomen to assist us when lifting or straining. They assist in both bladder and bowel control and have a large role to play in sexual function and satisfaction.

Some people are born with pelvic floor issues but, for most, the issues arise after certain life changes including:

  • Weight gain and obesity
  • Pregnancy and childbirth
  • Pelvic injuries from falls
  • Aging and menopause

The pelvic floor and orgasms

During the pre-orgasm stage of sexual activity the pelvic floor muscles contract. When these muscles relax, orgasm occurs. Having a strong pelvic floor increases blood flow to the penis and vagina prolonging the duration and sensation during orgasm.

Toning the pelvic floor also tightens the vagina providing increased stimulation for both partners.

For men, a healthy pelvic floor leads to stronger erections and improved erectile function.

How to test your pelvic floor health

For women, press your finger against the wall of the vagina and tense the muscles in the buttocks and upper thighs. If your pelvic floor is healthy, you’ll feel the vaginal wall push back against your finger.

For men, mimic the actions you would take to stop urination mid-stream. If the pelvic floor muscles are healthy, the tip of the pens will rise toward the abdomen during this exercise.

Symptoms of a weak pelvic floor include:

  • Leaking urine while straining, laughing, or coughing
  • Abdominal pain or pressure
  • Lower back pain
  • Frequent constipation
  • Frequent urination
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • A decline in sexual stimulation

How to strengthen the pelvic floor

Like all muscles, the pelvic floor muscles are strengthened through exercises that contract and relax them repetitively. Pelvic floor exercises including Kegels, certain yoga poses, and some breathing exercises help to strengthen the pelvic floor.

The key is to squeeze and release the muscles located between the buttocks and penis for a man and the buttocks and inside the walls of the vagina for women.

The best news is that having frequent orgasms also strengthens the pelvic floor!


Healthy sexual activity reduces stress and cortisol levels and is a key part of establishing intimacy and bonding with our romantic partners. Having a strong pelvic floor can make sex more enjoyable for both partners.

In addition to the sexual benefits of having a strong pelvic floor, you may also see improved balance, core stabilization,  better spinal support, and pain management in the back, legs, and ankles.

This article originally posted: https://medium.com/@tomilynchromance/want-better-orgasms-b881a31c6a2f

Exercise and Sexual Health

Getting a bit personal here, in October 2019 I decided that it was time to revamp my diet and return to the gym. I was always a fairly healthy eater and exercised regularly for most of my adult life but changes in my home life, having another baby, and spending more time working from home had caused me to waver from my healthy lifestyle and I was seeing it in my waistline and feeling it in my energy level. So, almost exactly two years ago, I reduced my caloric intake, made healthier food choices and developed a weekly workout schedule. The result was a 35 pound weight loss, an increase in muscle mass, and, to my surprise, a kick start to my sex drive!

I decided to investigate the connection between physical fitness and sex drive/arousal to see if there was any science to back my experience. What I found was that it wasn’t only the end result of the exercise that increased the sex drive but also, the act of exercising itself!

A study on exercise-induced sexual arousal showed that women get a different kind of sexual benefit from exercise. A vigorous workout affects hormones, neurotransmitters and autonomic nervous system activity. It also raises and sustains levels of an enzyme in women that increases genital blood flow and arousal. For women, a twenty minute workout can boost sexual arousal by 169 percent.

Regular cardio workouts reduce stress and increase the flow of “feel good” hormones resulting in a more relaxed and focused sexual experience. Cardio also helps to control insulin levels. High levels of insulin negatively impacts the sex hormones in both men and women. Exercise helps to keep hormones balanced and insulin production in check resulting in a higher sex drive.

Sex organs need good blood flow to function properly. Exercise reduces blood pressure, cholesterol, and the risk of heart disease allowing for better blood flow. This can help men manage erectile dysfunction and help women become sexually aroused faster and reach more frequent and faster orgasms.

Regular exercise also boosts cognitive function and improves over all stamina so you can be better engaged with your partner and have more rigorous and longer lasting sexual encounters.

We shouldn’t forget the effect that having a positive body image has on our sex life. If we think we look good, we are less inhibited and more open to sexual exploration. Let’s not forget, also, how increased flexibility opens up options in the arena of sexual positions!

We’ve always known that exercise and fitness improved sexual health for men. We now know that women benefit as much, if not more, than men do!