I used to wonder how any man could think that using the same lines from the Fuck Boy dictionary over and over with different women could possibly work, Then, I realized, they believe it will work because it does! It’s liken to those parents who hear the same ridiculous excuses from their children, over and over, and still choose to believe that little Johnny is telling the truth. It’s not that we’re stupid or naïve. It’s that we choose to believe the bullshit that they sling at us. Yet, when he turns out to be nothing more than a fuck boy, we’re heartbroken and surprised. We say things like, “Why are all men dogs?” but we fail to realize that we blind ourselves to all of the warning signs. We think we can change them. The problem is, no one can be motivated to change when they are getting exactly what they want by staying the same. You can’t earn his respect by loving him more, or better, than the other women. You can’t reward his inattentiveness and failure to commit with more attention and expect him to value you. That’s just not how it works. While some men are genuinely looking for a relationship, others are simply looking to score something for the short term, Sex, money, emotional support, or an ego boost may be his driving force and the more you give him these things, the more he’ll play the game.
I’ll Take Things a Fuck Boy Says for $500, Alex
In the early stages, he says things like, “I don’t like talking on the phone, what’s your (insert social media here) screen name. This is generally because he is having the same conversation with several women and can’t talk to all of them at once.
He may also make plans and then break them because he’s too busy at work or forgot he had plans with his family. This is because he was working someone that he’s more attracted to and hoping that he’ll score. If he doesn’t score, you’ll get the after 2 am “WYD?” text. This translates to “I’m home alone and horny so I guess it’s your turn.”
You’ll find yourself sending messages that go unread for days even though he is always online. When he does answer, he’ll tell you he was busy at work and, miraculously, his phone is never charged.
Once you’ve had sex with the fuck boy, he wants to be a stay at home guy. Instead of going on dates, he tells you he wants you all to himself. You’ll eat a lot of take out and watch movies and you’ll have a lot of sex because that’s why they put the “fuck” in fuck boy. He also doesn’t want his friends to meet you and he certainly doesn’t want to meet yours.
In general, fuck boys are low quality players. They lie and manipulate to get what they want and they are smart enough to realize that if they stay too long they will get caught.
Sometimes, we get stuck with a fuck boy who sucks at it. When this happens, we can end up spending months or even years in a non-committed, one sided situationship. It’s not because he wants to be with us, per se, it’s just that his game isn’t strong enough to allow him to find another victim.
This is when we hear things like, “I’m afraid to move to the next level with you because I love you and don’t want to lose you by screwing things up.” There’s also the famous, “We have a good thing, why does it need a label?” And my favorite, “I (or you) have trust issues that need to be worked on before we can plan a future together.”
I hope you enjoyed the Red Flag Series. Let me know if you want to see more!